RELATIONSHIP LESSON: One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.
Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant?” Michelle responded, “No, if I had married him, he would now be the President.”
Believe it or not, sometimes it’s a woman that makes a man who he is. So for the single men that are still searching for a wife, may God help you to find that help mate that will turn you from ” a nobody” into “a somebody”. For that single lady that is reading this, may you be that blessing no man can do without.
I just love them.
Cup song in Irish
ITS GAELIC YOU UNCULTURED SWINE AND ITS FUCKING MAJESTIC
This was so fucking fantastic omfg
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.
8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
9. Don’t dumb it down.
10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
12. Never park in front of a bar.
13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
17. Never lie to your doctor.
18. All guns are loaded.
19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.
21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.
23. A handshake beats an autograph.
24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.
25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.
26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
33. It’s never too late for an apology.
34. Don’t pose with booze.
35. If you have the right of way, take it.
36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.
37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
38. Never push someone off a dock.
39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.
40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.
41. Don’t make a scene.
42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
43. Know when to ignore the camera.
44. Never gloat.
45. Invest in good luggage.
46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.
47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
49. Give credit. Take blame.
50. Suck it up every now and again.
51. Never be the last one in the pool.
52. Don’t stare.
53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.
55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.
56. Admit it when you’re wrong.
57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.
58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
59. Thank the bus driver.
60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
62. Know at least one good joke.
63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.
64. Know how to cook one good meal.
65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.
68. Dance with your mother/father.
69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.
70. Always thank the host.
71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.
72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.
73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.
75. Keep your word.
76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.
77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.
78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.
79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.
80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
81. You are what you do, not what you say.
82. Learn to change a tire.
83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
85. Don’t litter.
86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.
88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.
89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
90. Make the little things count.
91. Always wear a bra at work.
92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
93. You’re never too old to need your mom.
94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.
95. Know the words to your national anthem.
96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.
97. Smile at strangers.
98. Make goals.
99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.
I can’t wait to go back to working out and maybe find someone new later on in my life and start all over
- —COMMON: Man, I know I’m in love when I think about her a lot and I’m finding ways to get to that person. Even though I gotta work, even though I gotta take care of other responsibilities, I’m like yo, when am I gonna fly out and see that person? I look forward to seeing them.
- —KENDRICK LAMAR: How do you know you’re in love? When your heart feels it instead of your mind and your penis don’t. You know, it’s deeper than that… That’s when you know.
- —PETE ROCK: Oh man you feel it right here, *touches heart*, right there, it’s like cupid’s shooting you in the heart, that shit’s just BOOW! Lots of people say they don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do, it’s happened to me.
- —A$AP ROCKY: You know you in love cuz you don’t want nobody else but that person. You know, that’s how you know for sure. Like you could see a million other bad bitches, but you know, but it don’t even matter, you stuck.
- —BIG BOI: Your heart flutters a little bit, you like to kiss on the mouth a lot, your neck get hot when you kiss on the mouth, that type of stuff. Stuff like that, yea.
- —QUESTLOVE: I THINK WHEN THAT PERSON CONSUMES YOU.
- —LIL PETE: bah i just be feelin it dah u feel me i just be feelin it dah that warmth in my core dah u feel me?
- —BIG GREGG: man that shit be like......pssssssh....fire.
- —Chico Man: ey forreal
this is so fucking metal oh my god
woah this is cool
What they did not want you to ever find out is that your generation, the generation born between 1980-1995, actually outnumbers the Baby Boomers. They knew that if you ever turned your eye towards political reform, you could change the world. They tried to keep you sated on vapid television shows and vapid music. They cut off your education and fed you brain candy. They took away your music and gave you Top Ten pop stations. They cut off your art and replaced it with endless reality shows for you to plug into, hoping you would sit quietly by as they ran the world. We as a society are only as strong as our weakest link. Give ‘em hell, kids.
whoa have you ever noticed that theres no present
like as soon as we do something its done its over with and it automatically becomes the past
me writing this has become the past
you reading the last sentence is the past
there is no actual present and that blows my mind
- parents: why are you on the internet all the time you have homework
- my mind: i fucking know i have homework to do you idiots i'm over stressed and i'm distracting myself on purpose school is fucking hell you may have gone when you were younger but it's fucking different now there are all new stresses and bad people and assessments and detentions and tests and exams and pressure and more studying and we over think all these things and it makes everything worse and it scares us so we procrastinate by going on the internet and actually having fun instead of working our asses off because we are so fucking stressed and confused and tired of everything THAT'S WHY I'M ON THE INTERNET ALL THE TIME OK
- me: ok
Paperman (Full Short)
- Drink plenty of water.
- Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
- Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
- Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
- Play more games.
- Read more books than you did in 2011.
- Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
- Sleep for 7 hours.
- Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
- Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
- Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
- Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
- Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
- Dream more while you are awake.
- Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
- Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
- Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
- Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
- No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
- Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
- Smile and laugh more.
- You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
- Call your family often.
- Each day give something good to others.
- Forgive everyone for everything.
- Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
- Try to make at least three people smile each day.
- What other people think of you is none of your business.
- Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
- Do the right thing!
- Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
- However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
- No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
- The best is yet to come.
- Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.